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On writing intimate vulnerable stories

I sat down to write this Substack a few days ago, the night before the full moon peaked.

What poured out of me in that writing session was a very intimate, very personal story of my relationship with my dad, who I am currently visiting and staying with for the week.

When the story poured through, I was a bit rattled by it all. It seemed as if so many years of buried emotions were spilling out of me onto the page, finally being released from the depths of my soul.

In the past, in my writing, I tried not to write about other people. I tried to keep my stories and reflections centered on me, around what I’m moving through, contemplating or experiencing.

But in this recent unpublished Substack piece, the words that needed to flow out of me were very much personal and intimate stories in relation to my father.

I didn’t know what to do with this piece once I finished. Do I publish it? Do I bury it? Do I put it behind a paywall to create a bit more privacy with it?

More than this, I was still feeling the enormity of emotions that writing this piece excavated within me.

And then yesterday, in the height of the full moon, I ended up on a synchronistic call with 2 other girlfriends.

This call was supposed to be for a completely unrelated purpose; but as the 3 of us started talking about what was alive for us in the moment, I found myself sharing my experience writing this piece about my father.

Through the course of an hour, the three of us shared stories on writing ~ writing deeply personal stories; writing as a therapeutic practice; writing to excavate and heal old wounds; writing to understand ourselves; writing to connect.

Our lives are intertwined with others so it’s hard to write in a vacuum, one of them shared.

It’s so so true.

In writing that piece, I realized a depth, vulnerability and intimacy in my writing that went deeper than anything I had written before.

I saw an aspect of myself that hadn’t been revealed through my prior work.

I also felt that there was more… more depth, more stories, more excavations that want to be unburied and written.

Writing this piece revealed to me that as I widen the scope of writing beyond the edges and boundaries I had previously imposed, there is a whole world of stories waiting to be written.

I just have to allow myself to go there.

Writing this piece about my father, which I’m not yet ready to publicly share, I realized a few more takeaways on the art of writing:

• When we write without an agenda or topic in mind; when we allow ourselves to just freely write whatever is on our heart without trying to control the outcome, the writing has potential to reveal deeply vulnerable, real stories that are often buried deep within our subconscious mind.

• While writing is a great tool for connection, it’s even moreso a therapeutic tool for you. It is through the process of writing that you are able to feel, witness, and release the emotions and stories searching for an outlet within your soul.

• Writing is one of the greatest investments of time and energy (at least for me). Through the process of writing, I not only get to witness and understand my own subconscious landscape, but it is through writing and reading stories that I connect with others. It is through writing that we realize we are not alone in anything we feel or yearn for.

• Writing is a self-generative process. What I mean by that is — your entire life and all your experiences hold the seeds of stories to write about. You can write about your father; you can write about what you learned writing about your father. You can write about almost dying. You can write about the people you love. You can write the soft orange roses you bought at the market. You can write about your dreams. You can write about writing or you can write about not writing. Your life itself is a series of stories waiting to be written… just put your pen to page (or fingers to keyboard), get out of your on head, and write.

• Your writing needs to be shared. It’s in the sharing process that you’re able to close the loop and release the story (and the emotions that came with it). In the case of this story about my father, I’m so grateful for the few friends I felt safe to send the piece too. In sharing the piece, I felt a sense of closure. In sharing the piece, I received their deep, heartfelt reflections, which helped me see different aspects of the story (and my personal experience) that I hadn’t seen before. Even if you’re not ready to share your pieces publicly, I think it’s vital to find one or two people that you can share your writing with. It’s also this closure that allows you to move on to the next piece, the next idea.

I know not everyone reading this writes or considers themselves a writer. The thing is, you don’t need to “be a writer” to write. (And if you write, you are a writer!)

But for me, writing is, and has been, one of the greatest tools and companions on this journey through life.

And the connections I’ve made (like with you, reading these words!) wouldn’t be possible without my devotion to the art of writing.

So thank you for being here.

And thank you for writing (whether you write daily or once in a blue moon; whether you write to share publicly or intimately for yourself).

I truly believe that the more we write, the more beauty we see, and the more we heal… ourselves and each other.

Grateful to share stories with you 💞

“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
― Mary Oliver

Just under 2 weeks until we open the circle for SAD GIRLS CLUB!! 💕🥹

I’m so excited to co-create this space with the intimate group of women that is forming.

Over the course of one moon cycle, we will gather together to flow with the highs and lows of whatever this season of life brings forth in each of us. This is a space to pour back into yourself, to refill your well, to gently soften the walls around your heart, and to remember that it’s safe to let life all the way in

The vibe ~ a cozy digital sanctuary ~ intimate women’s circles ~ embodied yogic & spiritual practices ~ private telegram group chats 💕

You can explore all the details here ~ I hope you’ll join us!

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In the spirit of deep, raw, emotional writing, I must share this piece written by my dear friend Ana Von. I was so inspired by her beautiful writing and the raw vulnerability of this piece. The power of writing to move us deeply… read this piece to experience what I mean 🤍